Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Office Cup Dispenser - Unsung Foundation of Our Economic System

In these financially challenging times, much has been made about the need to heal our hurting U.S. economy. Debates over stimulus packages rage. Wall Street cries for a savior to stabilize a falling stock market. The auto industry reaches for a government lifeline. Millions of Americans wrestle in vain to save their homes and find work. And Paula Abdul has had to leave American Idol because its executives are only willing to pay her the miniscule salary of $10 million dollars a season. In the midst of such monetary challenges, far too many citizens are overlooking one very important component of our economic well-being: the office water-cooler cup dispenser. That's right! In our rush to rely on government programs and economic bailouts, many employers and office managers have forgotten this often undervalued and unsung hero of our capitalist system. The time has come for action! The moment of truth has arrived! Quality cup dispensers may not turn the economy alone, but without them, we run the risk of seeing the greatest economic system in the world crumble before our very eyes, only to be replaced by a system in which inefficiency, socialism, and unending thirst reign.

Why the need for reliable cup dispensers in the workplace? It is the office water cooler that serves as the epicenter of office morale. It is around the water cooler that employees gather to exchange stories, recount tales of their relatively boring weekends, discuss the latest office gossip, and vent about how unfairly their boss treats them (all the while oblivious to the fact that the boss is aware that they are standing around a water cooler talking when they should be working). Yes, it is the office water cooler that keeps the American worker vibrant, rejuvenated, and needing to pee every twenty minutes. Without the water cooler, where could workers congregate to have their emotional needs met? It's more than a place to grab a cool drink; for many employees it's the therapy they need to return to their desk more ready and able to produce, serve their employer, and sneak a peek at their fantasy football standings with the zeal and tenacity the world has come to expect of the American worker.

Thus, the need for high-quality cup dispensers. Without cup dispensers, the water cooler is just a big bowl of water people stare at. Workers can't complain about the raise they didn't get, make up evil stories about the guy who actually got the raise, or discuss beautiful co-workers who would sooner be covered in oozing boils that to go out with them without a cup of cool water in their hands. Without the cup dispenser, there is no water cooler culture. Without the water cooler culture, there is no office morale. Without morale, production ceases, companies fail, workers revolt, children starve, communism rises from the ashes, and the freedoms we love and that so many of our forefathers fought and died for fade into the abyss of history.

Buying state-of -the-art cup dispensers doesn't just quench people's thirst, it helps save and maintain the American way of life. When you purchase office cup dispensers you are saying, "This is my country, damn it! And I for one won't stand by and watch while liberty, capitalism, and the independent spirit of America is trampled on!" So be a patriot! Order the best cup dispensers money can buy today. Your children, grand children, and countless generations of free Americans will thank you.

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